Archive | November 2014

Snowed – Part 10

snowed cover image for blogMike is on a quest to find his Mystery Date’s name. He decides to visit the men in the complex who had been at the party. He figures asking the women would be a sure fire way to get himself in a lot of trouble.

The only one who wasn’t there was Jaqwan, Tim’s roommate, but I could always ask him later.

With them, I did go into some detail. Normally, I don’t do that, but since none of them knew her either, it seemed more or less okay to talk about our encounter more explicitly. They had all forgotten the football game. We continued to talk about it about twenty minutes, then my cell rang.

“Yeah?” I answered without looking at the ID.

“Hey, Mike.” It was Deirdre. “You busy?”

“Nope.” I waved to the guys, walking out the door. “Why?”

“Cause I’m banging on your front door and no one is answering.”

“I’m across the way. Hang on. Be there in a sec.”

I put on a burst of speed and nearly ran Deidre down as I slid around the side of my building, hitting a patch of ice that had formed under the snow. She caught my arm, steadying me.

“Come in. Want some coffee?”

She held up a thermos and two thermal, ceramic mugs. “I brought hot chocolate. Not much for coffee. My mom owns the coffee shop down the road, Coffee Haven.”

“Really? They have amazing stuff. Someone gave me a gift certificate last year. Didn’t know she was your mom though.”

“Why, did you hit on her?”

That caught me by surprise. I nearly choked on my hot chocolate. In point of fact, I nearly always flirt with clerks and waitresses. It’s something I learned from my old man. A little well placed, sincere flattery gets you better service. Find something you can compliment and do so. Every woman likes to feel pretty and desirable. Give them some extra attention and they will give you some.

“That’s a yes if ever I saw it.” Deidre laughed. “No wonder Mom thinks you’re so cute. She’s a little old for you, though.”

“Yeah, well. . . . Age is a relative thing, right?”

“I’m glad you think so,” she replied, making herself more comfy on the couch.

I’d just put my foot in my ass totally up the ankle. Here I’d been telling her I was too old for her, and I said something like that. Way to make yourself look stupid, Mike.

“Look, Deidre. . . .”

“Don’t even start. I like you, Mike. I’ve liked you a really long time. I think you’re hot and sexy and everything a girl can want from a man. Remember our discussions about literature? I learned more from you about Shakespeare than all my teachers combined. You’re smart and funny and gorgeous.”

“D. You’re a sweet kid. I liked our talks too. That doesn’t mean I want to go to bed with you.”

“Why not?” Her eyes flashed at me dangerously. “Am I ugly? Don’t I interest you?”

“Oh, you interest me, alright. You’re beautiful, intelligent, sexy as three kinds of hell. . . .”

“Then what’s wrong with me?”

“Not a damn thing. Except I’d feel like some kind of lecherous old man if I took you to bed.”

“Why can’t you say the words, Mike?” She scooted closer to me. “Can’t you say make love?”

Honestly, I couldn’t. I could not force myself to say that or a dozen other things that were jumbled in my mind right then. I made some kind of sound, sort of a cross between a moan and a bleat when she leaned over and kissed me hard on the mouth. She pressed her body tightly against mine.

She sure didn’t feel like a little girl under that bulky sweater and tight, black leggings. She felt like a woman. A really voluptuous woman with sweet breasts that a man could bury his face in. Her thighs were tight, her ass firm. I could picture myself between those sweet cheeks, rock hard, plowing deep. You’d think after the night I’d had, I wouldn’t be thinking about sex with Deidre. Or maybe it was the night of debauchery that made me want her that much more? I really wasn’t thinking straight.

“I want you, Mike. I want you to make me a woman,” she moaned as she flattened me on the couch beneath her.

“What?” My sex clouded mind had caught something significant there. “Make you a what?”

“A woman. I want you to be my first.”

“Whoa now,” I said, sitting up.

Whatever fantasies I’d had about her suddenly faded to nothing like smoke in a strong wind.

“You’re a virgin?”

© Dellani Oakes 2014

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Snowed – Part 9

snowed cover image for blogMolly is angry with Mike not only for having his way with a young lady, but furious when he admits he can’t remember who it was. She refuses to help him by supplying her name. Jessamine fusses at her. Molly had hoped that Mike would find a girl at the party.

“Yes, but I didn’t expect him to find her quite so—much!” Molly protested

“I was drunk, Molly. And she was just as intoxicating as the alcohol I was consuming. Apparently she found me pretty intoxicating too, considering some of the stuff we did last night.”

“I don’t want to know!” Molly put her hands over her ears.

“I could stand to hear a little,” Jesse said with a sly smirk.

“Miss Jesse, you’re a naughty lady,” I countered. “I’ll tell ya sometime when Molly’s not around to get upset with me.”

Molly hopped out of the Jeep before it was even completely parked. She slammed the door, walking briskly to the grocery store. Jesse laughed loudly in the back seat.

“I swear, that woman is so mad at you! But she still wants to know. There’s this sort of morbid curiosity involved here.”

“Jesse, do you know who the woman was?”

“You don’t remember?”


“Well, that could be what’s got Molly so upset. A man should remember a thing like that.”

“Do you know?”

“Baby, I knew you left with someone without really saying goodbye. But I didn’t get a name. I’m sorry, sugar.”

We walked slowly into the store with Jesse on my arm. I got her a basket and led her around the store. We didn’t see Molly until we were nearly done shopping. She was looking for a good beef roast and didn’t acknowledge the fact we were there.

“Mike, you pick me out some nice, juicy steaks,” Jesse said. “I’ll give them my special treatment. We’ll have them for dinner.”

“Sure thing, Jesse.” I leaned over the case, precariously close to Molly.

She moved away from me. I picked out two steaks and was reaching for a third, automatically including Molly, when Jesse stopped me.

“Two’s plenty. I don’t think Molly’s too interested in joining us.”

I was speechless. I couldn’t imagine not including Molly. She grabbed her own steak at random, tossing it in her basket. By the time Jesse and I finished, Molly was outside waiting on the bench. A cab pulled up in front of her and the driver hopped out to help with her groceries. Leaving Jesse, I trotted over.

“Molly! Molly, come on. You’re being childish.”

She wouldn’t speak to me.

“I’m sorry. I’m really trying to remember. Please, don’t let this ruin our friendship. Come on, Molly.”

She still wouldn’t speak. She got in the cab and told the driver to take her home. The last I saw, she was turning out of the parking lot in a cab. I went back to Jesse and told her what had happened.

“I ‘spect she’ll stay mad about that a day or two. Meanwhile, put your mind on who that could have been. If you can tell her you remember, she might forgive you sooner.”

I helped Jesse get her groceries put away, then she threw me out so she could have her afternoon nap. I took the opportunity to canvas the men in the complex and ask who it was I’d been with. Surely one of them would know her. I didn’t dare ask the women. Even if I didn’t talk to her personally, the others would tell her and I’d be in trouble.

I knocked first on Jay’s door. He’s a guy about my age and works in a bank as a security officer. He was watching football with several of the other guys. On the commercial break, he put it on mute and we talked.

“You don’t remember?” Jay laughed at me, throwing his empty beer can at me. “Jesus, Mike!”

“I didn’t know her,” Charlie, Jay’s roommate said. “She was hot, though.”

“You guys aren’t jerking me around, are you? I mean, if you know, just tell me!”

“Seriously, dude,” Tim, the guy behind me said. “I never saw her before. I tried talking to her myself a few times, but she wasn’t interested in me. She had eyes on you all night. None of us saw her before, ever. I’d have remembered a choice piece like that. Da-yam!”

“No one knew her? Did Molly seem to?”

“I dunno, maybe? She seemed pretty happy when you first got together, then real pissed when you left together and didn’t come back,” Charlie replied.

“I’m so boned. I really wanted to ask her out again. I’d like to know who she was, maybe get something more permanent going. She was all kinds of sexy.”

© Dellani Oakes 2014

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Snowed – Part 8

snowed cover image for blogThe day after Mike’s birthday, he wakes to find a note from the mysterious woman with whom he apparently shared quite a night. Delighted by the memories, he’s only missing one happy element–her name. He hopes Molly will be able to supply it, but isn’t sure she will.

“Parents who play favorites, should be lined up and shot—twice! I never played favorites with my kids,” Molly said.

I knew, from everything her kids told me, that she spoke the truth. They none of them ever complained that their mom played favorites. They loved her above and beyond the call of motherhood. I had to admire all of them for that and wished I could say the same.

“I’ve got coffee and your favorite strudel here.” She dangled the lure of food, knowing I had nothing in my apartment worth eating.

“I’ll be right over!” I grabbed my wallet and keys.

Molly met me at the door with a mug of coffee fixed just the way I liked it. She had a cinnamon apple strudel on the counter, fresh from the oven. She cut a huge slab and put it on a plate.

“You’re awfully chipper this morning. The last few months you’ve been dragging around like a lame hound dog. I thought we were gonna have to haul you out and shoot you.”

“I feel great,” I said through a mouthful of food.

“Not hungover?”

“Amazingly not. I can’t remember a time I drank that much.”

She looked slightly tight lipped and disapproving. I could see that she wanted to say something, but didn’t want to spoil my mood. I set down my fork and mug, folding my hands in front of me.

“Look Molly. I know you don’t approve of how I comported myself toward the end of the party. I don’t drink that much very often. I can’t remember the last time I was that drunk. And . . . well . . . It’s been awhile since I broke up with my last girlfriend. I’m not trying to justify my behavior. But I apologize if I offended you.”

“Did you enjoy yourself?” She raised a disapproving eyebrow, her nostrils tight.

I blushed like crazy. I could feel it burning my neck and ears. “Yeah. . . . Oh, yeah.” I concentrated heavily on my strudel.

Molly chuckled, patting my hand. “Honey, you’re not my son and you’re not a kid. I may not approve per se, but you sure needed that. You should have brought her over for breakfast.”

“She left before I woke up. She had to get to work. She left me a note.”

“I see. Will you be seeing her again?”

I looked uncomfortable. I know I did, cause I felt damn uncomfortable. “Well, there’s this one tiny problem.”

Her eyes grew wide and she looked at me, appalled. “Don’t tell me you don’t remember who it was?”

I didn’t say anything, my sheepish expression saying everything. She sniffed again, tossing her head.

“I was pretty drunk, Molly. Normally, I don’t do anything with a woman I can’t identify. Give a guy a hand, would you? Tell me who rocked my world?”

Pursed lips and pinched nostrils told me she wasn’t gonna give it up.

“Please! I’d like to see her again. Not just to fuck. . . . Sorry. Fool around. I’d like to take her to dinner, romance her a little. Kind of like a thank you. . . . Okay, that sounded different in my mind.”

She moved the rest of the strudel away from me, covering it in foil. I was in deep shit and didn’t exactly know how to get myself out.

“If you can’t remember something that important, why should I help you? I think you should pay for your mistake.”

“Molly, that’s so not fair.”

“Obviously she remembers you!”

“She woke up in my bed with me sleeping next to her. Of course she knows who I am. I woke up to a note with no name. She had dark hair, that much I remember. She was hot and all kinds of sexy and fun—a lot of fun. If I’d known how much fun, I’d have asked her out a long time ago.”

Molly didn’t say anything. She refused to tell me, vowing it was a secret she might just take to her grave. We collected Jesse and drove to the grocery store. She sensed something wrong between us and asked. I told her, in no uncertain terms, what the problem was.

“So, he waxed his willie and you’re mad at him? Molly Harper, you sure are a contradiction. You were hoping the boy would find a nice girl at the party. We talked about it.”

© Dellani Oakes 2014

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Snowed – Part 7

snowed cover image for blogThe snow finally stops and Mike gets the sidewalks blown. He’s just walked into his home when his phone rings. It’s Molly asking him to come over and open a jar for her.

Even if it was 40 below out there, I sweated a lot clearing the snow. I put on more deodorant and a fresh shirt and sweater. Grabbing my keys, I trotted next door. It was colder than a witch’s tit outside. My granddad would say, “Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.” Not sure if that’s true or not, but by damn it was cold. My breath came in white clouds and my lungs hurt by the time I got to Molly’s door. I didn’t even knock and she opened the door. Warmth, light, music and voices tumbled out the door. Everyone from the apartment complex was there. They all grinned, waving at me, yelling “SURPRISE!”

Admittedly, it was. I thought maybe Molly and Jesse would make me dinner or something. I didn’t expect something like this. Laughing like an idiot, I walked in. My neighbors clapped me on the back, wishing me the best. There must have been at least 20 people there. I gave Molly and Jesse each a big hug and a kiss.

“Thank you,” I murmured. “This is the best birthday party I ever had.”

I swear to God, I wanted to cry. My own family was calling, giving me shit and a whole bunch of people I wasn’t even related to, gave me the best party of my life. We were all drinking like crazy. What the hell, no one had to drive home. They sang Happy Birthday, a whole lot better than my mother, and everyone was genuinely interested in me. I think that was the best part. It was all about me, not my brother, with a side order of Ma. And nobody gave two shits it was Halloween. I couldn’t remember another time that had happened in my entire life.

After the cake and ice cream, I thought we were all done until two of the women went in the bedroom and started bringing out presents. I was stunned. I never saw so many gifts—even at my bar mitzvah. Molly brought out a camera and took pictures while one of the other neighbors kept up a running description for Jesse. These folks hadn’t scrimped on presents either. I got DVD’s, books, CD’s, some of them got together and bought me an e-book reader loaded with all kinds of books with credit for more.

By this time, I was feeling the tears burn my eyes. I made the excuse I had to go to the head and went in there for a quiet cry. I didn’t actually cry full on, but I got those sobbing hiccups and squeezed out a tear or two. Once I was back in control, I went back out where I was greeted like a long lost hero.

One of the guys plied me with alcohol while two of the women sat on either side of me, kissing me in more than a friendly fashion. I knew this kind of action wasn’t gonna sit well with Molly, so I suggested to the women that we take it next door. They offered to help carry my gifts over for me.

Before I knew it, it was me and at least two women in the middle of my bed. Then again, it could have been me and one very aggressive woman, cause I was pretty drunk by that time and couldn’t exactly see straight. I’m not sure who that chick was, but damn! She loved me six ways until Sunday! I might not remember who she was, but I sure remembered the crazy, sorta kinky things we did that night. They will go down in my memories outstanding sexual moments for damn sure!

She was gone by the time I woke up the next day. I was damn glad it was Saturday, cause I’d slept until noon. Realizing that I’d missed my grocery date with Molly and Jesse, I got up and showered. In the kitchen, I found a note from the mystery lady taped to the fridge.

“Mike, I had a great time last night! Wow, who knew you were so much fun? Sorry to skip out like this, but I have to work today. Let’s get together and do this again sometime, huh? Call me! XOXOXO” And no name.

I swore. A lot. I couldn’t remember who she was and she hadn’t left her name or number. So unless she initiated something again, I wasn’t ever gonna find out—unless Molly told me. Which she might or might not do. I knew she wouldn’t approve of how I behaved. She’s pretty religious and I had overstepped those rigorous guidelines just by kissing that girl in front of her. Knowing that I’d had sex with a woman I didn’t remember would probably send her through the roof! I know I’m Jewish, but my Ma was raised Catholic. So I had a pretty good idea I had just stepped onto the threshold of Purgatory and my other foot was hovering over Hell. Not a pretty way to wake up the day after my birthday.

I called Molly to see when she wanted to grocery shop.

“Anytime you’re ready, sweetheart. I didn’t figure you’d be in any shape, so I slept in myself.”

“Hell of a great party, Molly. Thank you. I never had such a good time.”

“Really?” She sounded surprised.

“Gabe’s the golden child. His birthdays were always special. Mine were Halloween parties with birthday cupcakes. They were fun, but he got all the best stuff.”

© Dellani Oakes 2014

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Snowed – Part 6

snowed cover image for blogMike gets his groceries and chats with Deidre, a girl who used to ride his bus. She makes quite a point of letting him know how old she is. He thinks she’s attractive, but doesn’t want to get involved with a much younger woman.

I made the grocery delivery and went back to my place for a nap. It was still snowing and I had to wonder if Halloween trick or treat was going to be postponed. I put away my groceries, set an alarm for an hour and lay down on the couch for a nap. No need to mess up a perfectly good bed. Besides, I’d sleep too heavily if I went to the bedroom and not sleep at night.

I slept heavily anyway, with very erotic dreams. I couldn’t see the woman involved very clearly, but God, could I feel her. It was a very tactile dream. I could feel her skin and smell her perfume. I never had a dream that vivid before. If I ever met that woman, I would know her by her scent. She smelled like fresh flowers, sunshine and pure seduction. I woke before my hour was up, jizzed all over myself. Not my most favorite way to wake. Cussing like crazy, I decided to take a shower. I had intended to wait until after cleaning the sidewalks, but a glance outside told me that the snow hadn’t stopped yet.

It wasn’t even 2:00 and the sky was dark. Halloween festivities canceled, I was betting. No one in their right minds would let kids out in this mess. I went to check on the ladies. They were both at Molly’s and wouldn’t open the door for me. I had to stand on the porch freezing my freshly laundered ass off. Figuring they were plotting a birthday celebration, I went back home and made myself a bowl of popcorn while I watched Grandma’s Boy on DVD. I was dozing off again, the popcorn forgotten on my lap, when my phone rang.

“Hey, Mike!” My brother, Gabe. He never even waits for me to say hello. He assumes I want to talk to him, which mostly, I don’t.

“Gabriel, hi.” I hoped I didn’t sound as unenthusiastic as I felt.

“You got company or something?” He sounded curious and somewhat disappointed.

“No. I was catching a nap. Didn’t have to work today, it snowed.” I realized what I’d said and wanted to kick myself in the balls. I’d told Ma I was working.

“Oh. Um. . . Well, sorry. Thought maybe you’d got lucky.”

I laughed rather rudely. “It’s like 4:00 in the afternoon here, Gabriel. I haven’t had time to get lucky.”

“Well, I called to wish you happy birthday, bro. I got hung up at work. I got promoted, more responsibility.”

“That’s great, Gabe.” How does every conversation always turn into being all about him?

“Ma says she told you our big news.”

“Yeah. Congratulations. Four kids, huh? Big, happy family.”

“Yeah. . . . I’m worried about you, Mike. You need a girlfriend. More than that, man, you need a wife. Someone to take care of you. You’re not a kid anymore.”

“You make me sound ancient! I’m twenty-seven, not Methuselah! You’re only a couple years younger.”

“And I’ve got a career and three kids now. I have a beautiful wife and a big house. You’ve got an apartment and a Jeep.”

“Do we have to do this? It’s my birthday. I’d like for once not to have to get the I’m better than you are lecture.”

“Is that what you think this is?”

“Gabe, that’s what this always is. You and Ma tag team me and tell me what loser I am. Then you go to bed at night knowing you’re better than me. I hope it makes you feel good. Really, I do. Cause this is the last time I’m listening politely. I’m not your bitch or your whipping boy—I’m your older brother. I taught you how to drive and shave and chase girls. I introduced you to your first girlfriend. I told you what to do when you finally got laid. I’m the guy who got you drunk and stoned for the first time—and you’re lecturing me like I’m a three year old.”

“But see, Mike, that’s where your head still is. You’re still the cool older brother getting his little brother high and laid. When are you gonna grow past that?”

I sighed, shaking my head, and hung up on him. I don’t know what made me do it, but I couldn’t continue that conversation. I was too damn tired—and, if I’m honest, kind of depressed.

It had finally stopped snowing. I got my snow blower out and cleared our porches and sidewalks. For the next hour, I didn’t think about anything but how glad I was I lived so far from home. If I was in the City with my family, I would be in Bellevue by now. I don’t much relish the idea that I’d be crazy, locked in a padded room, because my family is dysfunctional.

My phone rang again. This time it was Molly.

“Happy Birthday!” She said loudly. “I need you to come over and open a jar for me, Mike. This cold weather has really got my arthritis acting up.”

“Sure, Molly. I’ll be over in a couple minutes.”

© Dellani Oakes 2014

To Buy Dellani’s Books

amazon page for books

Snowed – Part 5

snowed cover image for blogThe day improves greatly after a short visit with Molly, who has his favorite cookies, and Jessamine, her next door neighbor. Mike sets out to run some errands for the ladies.

Laughing, I kissed her cheek. “I’ll be back soon. Don’t go out yet. The stoop is pretty snowy and who knows if the ice has built up. You let me check and sand it down before you go anywhere, even to get the mail.”

“You’re such a good boy.” She patted my cheek.

“You be sure to tell my mother that, huh? She thinks I’m a mess.”

She pursed her lips, shaking her head. “I’m not gonna say it. I truly am not. It’s not polite to speak ill behind someone’s back.”

“Tell it to her face when she comes to visit next week.” With that, I opened and shut the door without saying goodbye.

“You won’t get out of this conversation like that,” she called after me. “You be careful on the road!”

“I will,” I called back.

I own a four wheel drive Jeep. It’s hell on gas, but great for storms. I even put a plow on sometimes and make a little extra cash clearing parking lots or digging out neighbors’ cars. Since I mostly use my bike to get to my bus, it’s not too bad. I buzzed over to the grocery store, got the things Jesse had on her list, picked up shaving cream and toothpaste for myself, along with coffee and half and half. I tossed in a bag of cinnamon bagels and some cream cheese and a pizza for dinner.

The girl at the cash register used to ride my bus. Her name is Deirdre and she’s maybe 17. She is one hot little number, but my over age dick ain’t goin’ anywhere near that delicious, delectable piece of jailbait. For some reason, she thinks I’m hot. I dunno. I’m not bad, but I’m not Adonis. It’s flattering that a girl her age thinks I’m attractive—but I repeat—jailbait.

“Mr. Mike, hi!” She batted her eyes at me. “I guess I can call you just plain Mike now, huh? Since I graduated and all.”

“Yeah, you can. That’s only for high school graduates. Anyone else, they gotta show respect for Big Mike, yo.” I thumped myself on the chest.

Deidre giggled, tossing her head. Long, wispy black hair flew out of her face. I noticed her eyes were a remarkable shade of emerald green and wondered if they were contacts. I was glad we had a conveyor belt and cash register between us cause I was feeling the lack of a social life right about then. I didn’t want her noticing I was suddenly packing heat, if you catch my drift.

“Having a Halloween party tonight?” She had noticed all the stuff for Jesse.

“My neighbor.”

“Bummer. I was gonna ask for an invite. You and me should party sometime, Mike.”

“Deidre, you’re a gorgeous girl, but I’m way too old for you.”

“What? You’re like twenty-five, right?”

“Two years ago. I just turned twenty-seven.”

“No fooling? You don’t look it. In fact, I should really card you for that wine.” She raised an eyebrow at me.

“Come on, D. You aren’t gonna bust my balls over that. I swear, I’m of age.”

“I gotta card you, Mike. I could lose my job if I don’t. You don’t want that to happen, do you?”

“I couldn’t sleep at night if I was responsible.”

I pulled out my license and showed it to her. She studied it a moment or two longer than I thought necessary, then handed it back to me.

“You’re still totally gorgeous,” she said very softly. “And I’m not quite as young as I look. I got held back a year and I have a late December birthday. I’ll be twenty soon. Will you go out with me then?”

I smiled, taking my license back. “You never know, D. Course, I’ll have to card you.” I gave some extra emphasis on that, giving it a little bit of a subtle sexual twist.

She grabbed a little balloon from the side of the cash register, dropped some cash in the drawer and handed it to me.

“Happy birthday, Mike. I hope you have a great day.”

“Thanks, Deidre. You too.”

“Oh, I intend to. See ya.”

I walked out of the store, feeling the eyes of all her co-workers on me. Was it my imagination, or were they all chattering about me as I left? I couldn’t tell for sure, but my neck and ears were burning and I felt like I had molten lava in my pants. I was glad I had on a long jacket, cause I was sporting the boner from hell. I headed to the Jeep in a frigid wind. One good thing, the cold and snow took care of the red hot party in my pants. Nothing like 40 below wind chill to shrink a dick.

© Dellani Oakes 2014

To Buy Dellani’s Books

amazon page for books

Snowed – Part 4

snowed cover image for blogMike watches the weather with mounting disquiet and decides to check on the two elderly ladies that live in the duplex next to his. He first calls on Molly before checking on her neighbor, Jessamine.

She watches DVDs of her favorite TV shows. Right now, it was Remington Steele. The show is older than me, but it’s still good. She’s got me hooked on it too.

“I came to see if you want me to police the sidewalks later.”

“Oh, please. I can’t pay you for it, but I got gas for the blower.”

“I don’t need your money, Molly. Pay me out in cookies. I can eat my weight in those.”

She giggled happily, knowing it was true. I’m a pretty good sized guy. I don’t mean I’m fat, I’m solid. About six feet, I weigh maybe 190. It’s muscle though, I want to emphasize. I lift weights, hike, ride my bike around town, do yard work, that kind of thing.

“Hey, you know what? You could give me some tips. My mom and a couple others are coming for a visit. I don’t have any idea what to buy.”

“Will they be eating with you?”

“I dunno. Ma didn’t say. I need some stuff, maybe breakfast, coffee, that sort of thing.”

“I’ll make you a list while you eat your cookies. When are they coming?”

“This time next week.”

“Then we’ll have time to go to the store together this weekend and stock up. I’ll fix some meals for you, if you buy the ingredients.”

“Super, Molly. You’re the best. I swear, if I was older, I’d snap you up!”

“If I was younger and half my size, I’d let you.” She blushed, batting her eyelashes.

We always tease like this. Truthfully, if she was just half her size, I’d do her in a heartbeat. She’s a beautiful woman with a lot of spirit. I could, quite frankly, do a lot worse. But I just can’t make myself seduce a woman who weighs almost three hundred pounds. I’m not that desperate.

She worked on a list, I ate cookies and we waited for the snow to stop. I visited with her awhile, watched Vintage Steele and I went next door to Jesse’s apartment.

Jessamine Williams is a lovely black woman who is old enough to be my grandmother. She’s small, delicate boned, a real lady. Her hair is as dark as night, her smile radiant. I take her shopping too, and the three of us have an awesome time aggravating everyone in the grocery store.

“You’ve been visiting Molly. I smell chocolate on your breath. Those cookies will be the death of you.”

“I’ll work it off later doing your front walk, Jesse. I’ll never gain an ounce.”

“You say that now when you’re a young man. Give you a few more years, you’ll start to pudge right out. Happened to my boys, it’ll happen to you too. My youngest was all skin and bones until he hit thirty, then it went all to fat.”

“I’m not thirty yet.”

“That’s right. It’s someone’s birthday today. Happy Birthday, Michael!”

“Thanks, Jesse.”

“I’ll bet Molly didn’t even say a word.”

I thought back to the hour and a half I’d spent next door. “Nope, not a thing.”

“She didn’t forget. She had those cookies on purpose. They were going to be a surprise. However, we’ve a thing or two up our sleeves.”

“Got your candy for tonight?” I changed the subject, not wanting her to tell anymore secrets.

“All set,” she said with a grin. “What’s it like having a birthday on Halloween?”

I shrugged, forgetting for a moment she couldn’t see me. She has glass eyes that look very realistic. Sometimes I forget.

“I can’t hear a shrug, Michael. Well?”

“I dunno, Jesse. Not so different from any other day, except everyone dressed up in costumes for my birthday party. We always went trick or treating after. I think my brother always felt cheated.”


“Cause his birthday’s in May. Half the time, it’s Mother’s Day. He hates to share.”

“Selfish little prick,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Truer words,” I agreed with a chuckle. “I need to run some errands provided it’s not too snowy. You need anything?”

She handed me a neatly written list. I don’t know how she can do that when she can’t see a thing, but her handwriting is better than mine will ever be. I glanced at the list.

“These are party supplies, Jesse.”

She put her finger to her lips. “Shh. I won’t tell if you won’t.” Then she winked at me, handing me some money.

© Dellani Oakes 2014

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Snowed – Part 3

snowed cover image for blogMike’s day hasn’t started very well. A phone call from his mother, wishing him an almost 30 birthday and the shock of a surprise visit, hasn’t made him the happiest man in Wyoming. Far from it. She has to get her digs in, telling him how successful his younger brother is.

“Your brother has three children—almost four.”

“His wife is pregnant again? Good grief! They never heard of birth control?”

“And you don’t have any.”

“Well, that’s not a for sure. There was that time in Atlantic City I hooked up with that chick at the roulette table and we fooled around most of the night. I could of got her pregnant. . . .”

“Michael! Such a thing to say to me!”

“You’re always wanting to discuss my fruit, Ma. I could have fruit. I could have lots of fruit. I’m a pretty fertile guy, love to sow my seed. In fact, I bet even if Gabe’s been married five years, I’ve sown more seed than he has. Maybe not here lately. . . .”

“We’re bringing someone to meet you,” Ma continued, ignoring my comments.

“Oh? I thought you and Chet were coming alone.”

“Chester. He doesn’t approve of nicknames.”

“Whatever. Who is it?”

“His daughter. She’s about your age. She’s not married. Divorced—very well. . . .”

“Then she’s not gonna want a bus driver for a husband.”

“The point is, he treated her lousy. She needs a good man. You may be a loser, but you wouldn’t treat her bad.”

“I’m not a loser, Ma. This is a career choice.”

“Some career! You drive a bus full of noisy, rotten kids! What kind of job is that for a man your age?”

I sighed, having had this conversation more than once. “Ma, I gotta go. Big day today with the field trip.”

Her only reply was a sniffle. I was supposed to pick up on this and get all tender and sympathetic, but I didn’t care. My life had been laid out in front of me in black and white. Perhaps I’m not too happy with what I’m seeing. Perhaps the worst thing in the world is to turn twenty-seven and be a bus driver in Cheyenne, Wyoming—but I doubt it.

“I gotta go, Ma. I’ll see you next week.”

“Chester keeps kosher.”

I hung up before I said something really grotesque to my mother. If her Chester keeps kosher, why’s he hooked up with a shiksa like my ma? Then again, he may not know she’s shiksa. Then again, he may not care. As long as you don’t eat the pork, you can still give it to the attractive, forty-eight year old shiksa.

“I’m going to hell. . . .” I was convinced of this because of the thoughts I was having about my mother and her kosher keeping boyfriend. “I am going straight to hell. . . .”

Even though I didn’t have to go to work, I was effectively awake. I debated whether I wanted to shave, but as cold as it is outside, I’m thinking of growing a beard. It was still snowing like crazy. I had snow covering my sidewalk about three inches. It occurred to me that the two disabled ladies down the way might need some help. We’re supposed to keep the sidewalks clear, but they can’t get out when the weather is bad. The first major investment I made after getting a car, was a snow blower. I’m not insane. I’m not schlepping a snow shovel.

Our complex is set up like a series of duplexes. Two apartments, side by side, two buildings next to one another, with two more buildings a few yards behind, facing the other way. All of us are grouped around a central courtyard and the lucky folks inside overlook the pool. Those apartments cost a little more, so the ladies and I forgo the view and pay less per month.

Bundling myself up, I walked down to Molly Harper’s apartment. She’s a lady my mother’s age to whom life has not been as kind. Disabled after an accident where a car hit her in a parking lot, she doesn’t get around too well. I take her to the grocery store on Saturdays and do odd jobs around her place. In return, she pays me a little, when I can’t talk her out of it, and fixes amazing meals to stock my freezer. Next to her is Jessamine Williams. She had cancer as a teenager and they had to take her eyes. She’s been blind longer than I’ve been alive.

I tapped on Molly’s door. I heard the couch creak when she got up. Molly is a heavy lady.

“Who is it?”

“It’s Mike, Molly.”

“Michael! How lovely of you to stop by.” She flung the door open. “I must be psychic. I have cookies in the oven.” She grabbed my arm, dragging me in the apartment, slamming the door behind me. “Sit down! Not working today?”

“No, ma’am. It’s a snow day.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize. I’ve been watching my program.”© Dellani Oakes 2014

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Snowed – Part 2

snowed cover image for blogMike Reuben isn’t having too good a day so far. Yes, it’s snowing, which means a day off, but his mother called to wish him a happy birthday. She can’t let the opportunity pass to remind him that he’s almost 30 and hasn’t done much with his life.

“Don’t be adding years to my age. Twenty-seven is not almost thirty!”

“Almost thirty! You’ll be thirty before I get a single grandchild from you. The fruit of your loins, the. . . .”

“Ma! I get the idea.” I totally hate when she starts like that. Fruit of the Loom, maybe I want to discuss with my mother. Fruit of my loins is not on the list of top 10 subjects for parental discussion.

“I called to tell you I’m coming for a visit,” she said quickly and hung up.

“Ma! Ma?”

Cursing loudly, I sat there yelling at a dead phone. I called her back in a New York minute. Her tone was very smug.

“I see. Now you have time to talk to your mother.”

I didn’t say anything. Replying to that remark simply gets me in trouble and gives her more ammunition against me. I haven’t been her son twenty-seven years without figuring out a thing or two.

“I’ll be there this time next week.”

“Do I need to make arrangements to pick you up at the airport?”

“I’m not flying. I’m driving out.”

“What? How? You don’t drive!”

“I have a new friend. I’ll be riding with my friend—In a Lexus.”

“This friend wouldn’t happen to be a man, would it?”

“Why, Michael Aaron Reuben, what a question to ask!” She tried to sound appalled. She was too damn smug.

“But it is a guy. And how do you know this guy? How good a friend is he?”

“If you lived here, you’d know. Your brother has met him.”

“Good for him, Ma. Good for Gabriel, he’s met this mystery man. I’m happy for him.”

I could really care less. My little brother is a snot and I don’t like him much. He’s a couple years younger than me and the biggest suck up on the face of the Earth. If he could have his lips glued to our ma’s ass and stay there forever, he’d do it. The only woman who rides him harder is his wife, Livia. She’s a rich bitch and he’s a businessman. You can imagine theirs is a match made in Saks. In fact, I think they met there. Who knows? Who, in fact, gives a shit? Not me.

“So, this guy. . . .”

“His name is Chester.”

“Okay.” I paused. The silence asked the next question for me.

“He’s a dentist with a very good practice.”

I continued to wait for her to supply the information.

“And he’s got a nice house, a beautiful car. . . .”

“Okay. . . .”

“You could be more enthusiastic.”

“I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”


“The downside of this conversation. I’m waiting for it. Like, he’s got six months to live or he’s going to prison or something.”

“You’re too sarcastic, Mikey.”

“No, Ma, me, I’m cynical. Sarcastic too, but what you’re hearing in my voice right now is cynicism, not sarcasm.”

“Don’t be a smart aleck. It’s unbecoming for a son of mine.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“His name is Chester.”

“Yes, ma’am. You said that already.”

“I don’t like your tone, young man.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And I don’t like being called ma’am very much.”

“Yes, I’m aware of that.”

“Then why do you keep saying it?”

“It seemed the best way to keep out of trouble. Look, Ma—I really do need to run.”

“Your brother has a big house,” she continued as if none of the other conversation existed.

“Yes. I’ve seen it. Big house, huge, very lavish.”

“And what have you got?”

“A cramped two bedroom apartment. What’s your point?”

© Dellani Oakes 2014

To Buy Dellani’s Books 

amazon page for books