Archive | October 5, 2014

In His Own Words – Joel McMurtry

author dellani oakes banner with conduct unbecoming from Christina

Joel is one of Teague’s many cousins. Their family is legion and they all stand up for one another. Joel was introduced in The Ninja Tattoo, but has much more of a role in Conduct Unbecoming. He’s a fun character and I really like him. Here, to tell you about himself in his own words, is Joel McMurtry.

What is your name?

Joel McMurtry

What do you want most?

If you’d asked me that a couple days ago, I would have said that I want to do my job, catch bad guys and have sex with hot women. Today, though, I’d have to say getting through the next 24 hours without getting killed—and having sex with beautiful women.

Why is this so important to you?

Which part? If I have to explain why sex is important, you’re an idiot.

How do you treat the people in your life?

I try to treat people well, especially the woman in my life. I’m a strong believer that whatever goes around, comes around. Except if it’s Jasper. He deserves whatever he gets.

Can people count on you?

Absolutely. Family first, friends second. If they are really good friends, then they’re like family and get the same consideration.

What makes you angry?

When people do bad things to each other and don’t get caught. That’s why I became a cop—so I could catch bad guys.

Do you stand up for your beliefs?

With guns blazing, if necessary. If it’s important enough to believe in, it’s important enough to defend.

What excites you?

I’m gonna go back to that answer about hot women and let you figure that out.

What do you do for a living?

I’m a cop. I joined the force as soon as I was old enough and I’ve been one ever since. I’ll stay here until they drag my wrinkled old ass to the street.

What kind of books do you like?

I like political thrillers best. I like when the good guys win and the bad guys lose. I wish life worked that way, but it doesn’t always.

What kind of music do you enjoy?

Something hot and sexy that you can dance to.

What’s the one thing you’d most like to do before you die?

Remember that answer about catching bad guys and having sex with beautiful women? That. And eat good food, drink good beer, hang out with my friends and maybe have a passel of kids one day. But mostly the sex part—and catching the bad guys part. No, decidedly the sex part.

© 2014 Dellani Oakes

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Bad Fall – Conclusion

Bad FallFrank meets his son, Elijah, and has a conversation with Britt for the first time since high school. She tells him what happened that night, that they had both been drugged by other students. He tells her he’ll help out with Eli’s expenses and offers her the job she needed at Sheltering Oaks.

Britt blushed, ducking her head. “Actually, I like women. I did back in school too, but didn’t want to admit it. I think that’s another reason the guys did that to us. They thought it would be funny.”

“I’d like to rip their balls off and stuff them up their noses,” Frank replied calmly. “Do you know who it was?”

“Yeah. But promise you won’t get violent.”

Frank shook his head. “No. That’s behind me. But there are other ways to get even that don’t require violence. I have a few friends in high places who owe me some favors. If you ever want to get even, you let me know and I’ll go Federal on ’em.”

Britt laughed. “You’re a unique man, Frank Atherton.”

“Thanks. You’re a pretty unique woman, Britt.”

Marka and Eli came in, breathless and laughing. “Can we stay for dinner, Mom? Marka asked us. She said they had more food than they could eat in a month and they need my help.”

“Sure! Can I help in the kitchen?” she asked Marka.

“I’d love it. Frank’s a good helper, but right now, he’s more of a menace.”

“Oh, thanks, babe. Love you too.”

Eli plopped down on the couch opposite Frank. He stared at his father. “So, you’re my dad, huh?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Why didn’t you ever see me before?”

“Your mom chose not to tell me you were born.”

Eli nodded, taking that in. “Did you love my mom?”

Frank wasn’t sure how to answer that, but chose to be honest. “No. We knew each other in school and we were friends for awhile.”

“That’s okay,” Eli said. “Can we be friends now?”

“I’d like that a lot. I think you’ve got a lot you can teach me.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

Frank pulled out the PSP. “Like how to up my score on Grand Theft Auto.”

“Dude, I rock that game!”

Frank tossed the PSP to him. “Good, cause I’m terrible at it.”

He sat by his son and the boy explained different facets of the game. About half an hour later, Marka stuck her head out of the kitchen.

“Dinner’s almost ready. Go wash up.”

Both brown heads popped up, nearly touching. Two pairs of deep brown eyes lit up and they flashed identical smiles. Marka’s eyes watered as she gazed at Frank. He looked so joyful with his son. She wasn’t jealous, she was delighted that he’d found the boy after so many years. She looked forward to the time when they would have their own children and they would grow up, knowing their older brother.

“Yes, ma’am,” Frank said. He tousled Eli’s hair.

The boy ducked his head away, laughing. “Yes, ma’am? What are you, in the Army?”


“Did you ever shoot anyone?”

“One day, I’ll tell you all about it. Meanwhile, I’m hungry and the women will be angry if we don’t hurry up.”

“They won’t mind.”

“Son, first rule of dealing with women, do what they tell you when they tell you.”


“Because they will make you miserable if you don’t.”


Frank laughed, winking at Marka. “One day, I’ll tell you about that too.”